Monday, April 21, 2014


Like the wings of an eagle that has faced a thousand air waves of sand, dust of storm and drops of rain, like the many faces of hot winds of South and cold breeze of North, a million amplitudes of motions that make it glide and dive in, assimilating every bit of what it can take,I have faced a thousand forces of humankind,some hot others cold,some literary, others musical and a million pulls of artistic minds drowning me into whirlpool of life.
I have tried absorbing to my best. But these people have left their impressions on me , face to soul. I am no more myself but an amalgam of black, blue, yellow and pink. Yet in not being myself , I found my real self,my true soul. I had no art neither the vocabulary to understand my existence until someone brought in bebop to this wilderness that helped me express what i knew not, hitherto. Another person taught me how to laugh, even my voice and accent became someone else's, my hairstyle left mark of yet another soul and my dress up followed another pull. But what no one could ever change was my soul,my identity,the very core of my being.
I was black in the beginning until blue made me musical, yellow showed me the path to happiness and freedom and when I reached my destiny to realizing my inner truth,I found nothing but pink.Pink when you look at it in the first glance but traces of blue and yellow still remain.
And here I am , residing in the beats of seconds,lost in the leads of a guitar, swinging along every current , walking through the strings of charms and strokes of life, diving into every key of piano and shining through my violin, my words. Is it all real or just a mirage of what life and the winds have made me become?Is it all my real entity or have I gone astray to the baffling colors of the world that ever came my way?Are these the actual wings I was born with or just a distraction from the darker dull path of reality. But then again, what if it really doesn't matter?! What if life is in fact all about living a delusion to oneself and illusion to others , as long as your soul stays untouched,unchanged. Be it what so ever , I will stay an illusion, a shadow to the world as long as i can hear the hymn and as long as i can dance and swing through the cords of guitar.
Who am I and What I am to the world is a part of a ramshakled story unfolding still, to the ever mesmerizing symphony of love! 

Sunday, April 13, 2014


Dear Mother,
It aches to write this down, given the love i have for you,when my tongue finds not enough words to reach your ears but my heart does, to cherish your soul,when my thoughts no longer pass through voice but my actions speak of care, and all that I have for you takes me back into memories deep, of great childhood you gave me ,of the touch of your hands and calmness in your sound.I write this to you for I know what I cant express in a dramatic voice can only be immersed in the flamboyance of letters and lasting gratitude stored in a page.
My heart sinks evermore to realize that, with the life I am spending, I fail to see your face everyday and months pass by until i see my tracks back to you , for nobody shall last forever in this world neither you nor I , then every day is an opportunity lost to spend more time with you.
I know a mothers heart is no victim to the distance from her son for she can feel him  from oceans away but does a son have the same sensitivity of emotions to feel her mother too?
Dear Mother! It hurts everytime i realise that childhood would never come back when we never split apart and even a day's trip away from you felt like ages went by.When the setting sun signalled my isolation making me run back home to find you and everything would become normal again.When telling you all the troubles at school was like solving them.
God knew that despite the rising numbers, we would be left alone in this world.So He gave us that one person in mother whose love was more than enough to pass through a lifetime unhurt.And now that I see myself getting stronger I find you growing older. Now that i see myself getting powerful enough to hold you,I'm drifting farther away,pulled hard by the tides of daily work.
My effort to write it down to you.We never estimate the importance of a blessing until it vanishes.I dont want to follow that norm,I want to become that lot that appreciates what we have in present and in present I have you with me.
My heart bleeds every time I fail to give you back the same amount of love that you blessed me with every moment of my childhood.My soul screams to be with you, to help you pass through this age of yours when you need my presence the most.
Dear Mother! I am away but know that I am always there with you at every turn, at every crest and trough of your life.Know that despite my job, I am always in search of moments to compensate for my absence and you'll always see me by your side just like you were by my side ever since i opened my eyes...Know that ill stand by you to see the moon just like you held me to see the sun...
Love you Ami and thank you for the most sincerest of relations I could ever imagine! You have been everything I wanted in a mother but now its my turn to be everything a mother wants in her son!