WINGS WON'T GIVE IN TO THE SWINGING PENDULUM...

A pendulum hanging under the clock that swings this way and sways the other, with every passing second, found my attention consuming my soul into a territory of familiar motion, of quite a similar emotion, a very strange connection there was... Between the pendulum and my soul. Every second that made it move,every tick tock consuming battery life reminded me of the same hues my soul is going through in life. The time will move on second after inevitable second. The ticking sound replaced by my heartbeat lying within chest of my clock, at the expense of age that slowly wears off , with each thought, with every single event,in each  decision made,with every dawn and dusk. Is that it? Is that all my soul could find in simile with the pendulum. Until it struck me again that my soul was going through the undulating movement too , in to and fro motion, one moment to eternity other lost to the world. One second it sways to self actualization the other instant it mixes up with other souls and gets impure again.
This time around though , there seems to be a permanent disconnection. There appears to be a halt, a subtle inactivity.Is my heart stopping.I could still hear the lub dub and feel my pulsations quavering through my neck. The clock is still ticking .But the soul, the pendulum seems to have unhitched. Not in the ideal middle where gravity could be blamed but on one side.The side of darkness , the place of immense dissatisfaction, painted dull by the world that restlessly tries to make it insipid every chance it gets.It seems as if the apathy from self awareness has let me escape my own protective bounds and this abyss ...of recklessness has thrown away my inner peace,broken the remaining surviving soul into pieces innumerable ,infinite,each made a share to the world that feeds on it for breakfast , for gossip, for intense talks and deadly sleep.
There might be another angle to this i didn't cover.maybe the pendulum still sits on the supposedly brighter side. Maybe dullness is an illusion of what my soul is actually going through.Perhaps the satan of time is not whats playing with my head but the angels themselves are falling into compulsion of necessary evil that is being demanded by life and circumstances where one could either lose wings and grow fins and run with the flow or fight off the harbinger of ill fate that carries blades in his cloak. Fight off it is!
I ask my soul again of what ifs and whys and it swings around dancing to the beats, the uniform unstoppable beats of the drum, it sways round and round and never replies. Then it halts and drops short a smile . An expression of wisdom like I already knew the answers.The answers to the quest, the elixir to happiness, the krypton to inner world. The message is simple for love never comes by force just as soul never reacts until we act upon our own selves ,until we fight off the world ,until we make our souls ours to own. The message was simple for life storms in breaking our innate apart and rebuild we must. Rebuild we do but lose to life for life moves on. what we build on our soul again, is this structure of never giving in , this self esteem and confidence that embodies our heart ,the new you and the new me,built upon sands brick by brick ,not by fate of a silver spoon but by life of shattered dreams, is too precious to be given away to flow of streams. It is too priceless to become selfless and so I fought and took fate in my hands never to give in to randomness of people and their ugly ways.This fate shall stay as long as the wall survives. It shall go on as long as the heart beats and i shall fly high upon my wings that survived fires and flares.
Days shall pass and time too.People will  change and faces too .What stays with us is the frame of ticking clocks and the soul that dances free of gravity and the pulls.Freedom shall stay,so shall I .Freedom gone,so will I.

Surrendering To The Abyss

I'm crashing down hard with an angel inside me
Crumbling down fast with whats broken behind me
I'm breathing my last with the sands in my hand
I'm falling apart with the darkness to blind me

A victim to the tug of war
The body became a past
Somewhere between saint and sinner
This soul has breathed its last
What was once
A solid bed of rock
Is rolling down like stones
Deprived of the feel of shock
My heart aches to the very bones
Collapsing down the pipeline
Like water that never stops
To give in to the love of gravity
A story of what remained on the mountain top
Gradually descends into oblivion
Sinking into the pull drop by drop

I'm crashing down hard with an angel inside me
Crumbling down fast with whats broken behind me
I'm breathing my last with the sands in my hand
I'm falling apart with the darkness to blind me

Reckless life spent in shades..
Shades of Hopeless fate cut through blades
Of time and wisdom that walk together
A journey taken on solid foundation
Is helplessly rolling back
Into an abyss
From the core of which
A monster arises
Taking away the departed soul
Giving back a few moments of the how it used to be
Fills it up with mesmerizing joy
Colors glamorous enough not to annoy
And plays again with the battered hope
Tosses again from the summit
Of well being and prosperity
Watching everytime it crashes,The soul..
Like it collided before
The sheer show of power
The immense lingering of hours
The intense pain of letting go
The infinite joy that comes with it
To the vastness of the gravity
To the boldness of the infinity
To the genius of the insanity
The events moving in circles
Another day
Another soul
Another deja vu
The rhyming of words with his fall
As I witness through my void...


He's crashing down hard with an angel inside him
Crumbling down fast with whats broken behind him
He's breathing his last with the sands in his hand
He's falling apart with the darkness to blind him...

JUST A RANDOM THOUGHT...

Ever wonder a life
Where no time existed
No clocks on the walls
No ambition no pain
No loss no gain
No fate to sustain
No wretched existence of insane
A world...
A world less of miracles
A random mirage of colors
No morals no story
No personal endeavors of glory
No fights no vengeance
No borders no religions
No hope to plant
No faith to haunt
A world with...
No past no future
No surmise no dreams
No good no evil
No bloodshed no screams
No bed time tales of devil
An eye tearless
An entity fearless
No purpose of our descend
No mistakes to amend
But a life...
A life of fickleness
Seconds left unchewed
Minutes munched to the bones
An aeon for the sake of an aeon
No often no seldom
An eternity of freedom
A life without path
A day without math
A poem without rhyme
A script without chyme
words filling the  chasm
rhyming back into sarcasm
No arguments no discussions
No insanity with repercussions
Chains of..
 Chains of everyday agony
Weight of the repents of past
And helpless future
Broken in one blow
Through thoughts of twisted head
Light shining through a  glow
Ignoring the heart instead
Ever wonder
Ever wonder...

My Kite Flies High Like Inky Dot In The Sky...

Hope,that one discrete color among thoughts that begets the impossible. It is a shape-shifter that clings to any entity you could find. It becomes the heart of a mother who has lost her child in the sea of people or the nostalgic head of a soldier longing for home. You see it playing with the spirits of the underdogs or sparking up flames in the soul of a lover. If life were a game of chess  then hope is that white knight sent to decimate the front-line of pawns and knock out the rival black king, when all is lost but the one little riding piece of a chevalier we call hope.
We all have hope in our soul hidden in the deepest cores where nothing outlasts but the purest forms of energy, be it negative or positive. Its the realm of thoughts and dreams, desires and aspirations. Every human being is born with a place in his heart for storage of such vast amalgam of ardor, though only a few are able to self actualize the potential they are born with.
In my quest for lasting truth and journey towards eternity, I have come across this kingdom of vim. Guarded on all sides by the turbulent pawns of pessimism and despair striking anything moving towards the gates. You will find hope locked inside those huge walls of defense impregnable to anything but perseverance and determination. Life puts everyone through the tests of time. Hopes shattered,dreams rattled and despite the sincere efforts towards attainment of success,you may find fate ground you down undeservedly like arrows  falling from the sky piercing ur heart and flesh apart. Does it really conclude there? Is life that short or uneventful as to end up like that ? The answer is no!
In fact such are the moments that inspire men to rise among stars or fall six foot deep into the dust. Its these moments where you hold your ground, keep on moving towards the wall of negativity and rekindle faith and self belief that someday soon you are going to break through the wall and enter the kingdom of vim where hope shall embrace you, replenish your vitality and make you feel the warmth of sun shine and calm your entity down, armoring you up for the next battle in life.
I have broken through the gates of my kingdom and hope flies high in my soul, like a kite. A kite that would sustain its flight no matter what time of the day or life.Bring on the rain and the storms and unforgiving hurricanes that take one by surprise but my kite would be swinging and dancing with the waves of time because its not just a piece of paper i found by luck.its the work of years of relentless and incessant struggle that no storm can dare challenge the integrity of the fibers i built my kite with.Even if dusk fell and  mountains seemed darker than the sky, my kite shall be seen diving and rising again like an inky dot in the dim of the sky.

WHO AM I ??

Like the wings of an eagle that has faced a thousand air waves of sand, dust of storm and drops of rain, like the many faces of hot winds of South and cold breeze of North, a million amplitudes of motions that make it glide and dive in, assimilating every bit of what it can take,I have faced a thousand forces of humankind,some hot others cold,some literary, others musical and a million pulls of artistic minds drowning me into whirlpool of life.
I have tried absorbing to my best. But these people have left their impressions on me , face to soul. I am no more myself but an amalgam of black, blue, yellow and pink. Yet in not being myself , I found my real self,my true soul. I had no art neither the vocabulary to understand my existence until someone brought in bebop to this wilderness that helped me express what i knew not, hitherto. Another person taught me how to laugh, even my voice and accent became someone else's, my hairstyle left mark of yet another soul and my dress up followed another pull. But what no one could ever change was my soul,my identity,the very core of my being.
I was black in the beginning until blue made me musical, yellow showed me the path to happiness and freedom and when I reached my destiny to realizing my inner truth,I found nothing but pink.Pink when you look at it in the first glance but traces of blue and yellow still remain.
And here I am , residing in the beats of seconds,lost in the leads of a guitar, swinging along every current , walking through the strings of charms and strokes of life, diving into every key of piano and shining through my violin, my words. Is it all real or just a mirage of what life and the winds have made me become?Is it all my real entity or have I gone astray to the baffling colors of the world that ever came my way?Are these the actual wings I was born with or just a distraction from the darker dull path of reality. But then again, what if it really doesn't matter?! What if life is in fact all about living a delusion to oneself and illusion to others , as long as your soul stays untouched,unchanged. Be it what so ever , I will stay an illusion, a shadow to the world as long as i can hear the hymn and as long as i can dance and swing through the cords of guitar.
Who am I and What I am to the world is a part of a ramshakled story unfolding still, to the ever mesmerizing symphony of love! 

DEAR MOTHER,JUST WANTED TO THANK YOU!

Dear Mother,
It aches to write this down, given the love i have for you,when my tongue finds not enough words to reach your ears but my heart does, to cherish your soul,when my thoughts no longer pass through voice but my actions speak of care, and all that I have for you takes me back into memories deep, of great childhood you gave me ,of the touch of your hands and calmness in your sound.I write this to you for I know what I cant express in a dramatic voice can only be immersed in the flamboyance of letters and lasting gratitude stored in a page.
My heart sinks evermore to realize that, with the life I am spending, I fail to see your face everyday and months pass by until i see my tracks back to you , for nobody shall last forever in this world neither you nor I , then every day is an opportunity lost to spend more time with you.
I know a mothers heart is no victim to the distance from her son for she can feel him  from oceans away but does a son have the same sensitivity of emotions to feel her mother too?
Dear Mother! It hurts everytime i realise that childhood would never come back when we never split apart and even a day's trip away from you felt like ages went by.When the setting sun signalled my isolation making me run back home to find you and everything would become normal again.When telling you all the troubles at school was like solving them.
God knew that despite the rising numbers, we would be left alone in this world.So He gave us that one person in mother whose love was more than enough to pass through a lifetime unhurt.And now that I see myself getting stronger I find you growing older. Now that i see myself getting powerful enough to hold you,I'm drifting farther away,pulled hard by the tides of daily work.
My effort to write it down to you.We never estimate the importance of a blessing until it vanishes.I dont want to follow that norm,I want to become that lot that appreciates what we have in present and in present I have you with me.
My heart bleeds every time I fail to give you back the same amount of love that you blessed me with every moment of my childhood.My soul screams to be with you, to help you pass through this age of yours when you need my presence the most.
Dear Mother! I am away but know that I am always there with you at every turn, at every crest and trough of your life.Know that despite my job, I am always in search of moments to compensate for my absence and you'll always see me by your side just like you were by my side ever since i opened my eyes...Know that ill stand by you to see the moon just like you held me to see the sun...
Love you Ami and thank you for the most sincerest of relations I could ever imagine! You have been everything I wanted in a mother but now its my turn to be everything a mother wants in her son!

Of Injustice And Self-Immolation....(In Memory Of Victimized Pakistani Teen Who Died Of Self-Immolation)

Insanity... A word that entails in its meaning a universe of irrational and completely outrageous acts and thoughts that is incomprehensible to a normal mind.
I, only recently, was going through the news when an image,quite a paradoxical one,went by , of a woman completely immersed in flames and people in the surrounding running towards her trying to save her. Save from the world she was trying to get rid of. The very first word that popped up in my head was 'insanity'. It didn't last long, though.The emotions settling down deep within  made way for the sensitivity of the pain that lady went through.Soon it was over BBC webpage that the Pakistani sexually assaulted teen dies of self immolation.Apparently this reaction of the poor woman was courtesy of the fine judgement on part of our courts that set the devil rapist free of any guilt and ready to feed on another soul.
My writing an article here is neither to point out the latest developments nor is it to ensure justice be served to the defaulter.He would someday have to face the music himself too,let alone the judge.Allah is Akbar!
My typing out these words is merely an effort to solve the very anguish of perplexed kind, rising in my soul, of what that woman must have gone through as to have literally burnt herself alive?!
Lets just not kid ourselves.It maybe quite easy buying a liter of fuel and even easier pouring it all over yourself (considering how unfairly high the prices of fuel are for a poor man in our country),but it takes a far more hurt than hell fire to light up a match and throw it upon yourself! So what was that suffering that helped her take this audacious step.
Suicide and self pain is part of kufr in Islam so the judgemental clerics might already have declared her a kafir or maybe somebody never bound for paradise.But is it so?
The world sees her act from another perspective, not through her eyes. And so is the purpose of my writing. To try and realize what she went through,to unfold the extreme despair that made her self-immolate.
Hope sustains the world they say.Surely, hope must have deserted her heart.No wonder the miseries of this world got untenable.First was the rape, tearing apart her dreams and noble wishes.This  might have helped her arrange some fuel!
Next to come were the ugly remarks of society, fearless of God, further aggravating the pain, convincing her of getting a lighter fetched!
All she was left with was a final promise of consolidation at the hands of court that could have had the demon imprisoned. So she waits. Waits for something to stabilize her emotions.The lighter stays in,the bottle of petrol closed!
On comes  the actual catalyst moment that triggered lunacy . Court frees the beast to fly away with wings and live a respectable life! That would have been the final blow to her beliefs of this world.
I ,hitherto, thought its a world of colors and dreams.Any man can think optimistically since we all witness the same world.Unfortunately that was not the case for the victimized soul.She had tolerated the misery of getting raped and dilapidated dreams.She had survived the torment of so-called discernment through the day and distress of the night.When injustice traumatized her already tormented brain,it was more than enough.Her purpose was filled in this world, for there was no purpose left to live for.
Then comes that horrible moment of self immolation and men reaching out to save her and force her back into this world.What must have gone through her mind at that time caught in fire, only she and Allah knows.Dare my tiny cerebrum suggests she must still have not had any second thought about departing from her world!

MISERY AND HAPPINESS, LIFE TO BLAME?

Do we have to blame life for everything? journey to a man is essentially the same for all particularly when talked about the spiritual attainment of destinies.Life throws into our court a thousand problems nature of which might be respectively different for all but the intensity is strong  enough to jitter the very fundamental beliefs one grows up in. Then why do I see one miserable person sitting next to a satisfied one. After-all the latter's satisfaction was never guaranteed at the time he/she was born, neither was the distress of the former.So one conclusion is established! misery and happiness is not something written in the stars but a courtesy of multiple factors one practically lives through.When in essence life is a test for all be it winners or losers,buoyant ones or dejected ones, Then why blame fate for being permanently miserable?

We are jailed behind the bars of diverse obsessions that we fail to solve despite being jaded throughout time. Some of us are victims to wishful thinking ,others just find it too hard to imagine what lies outside the cage.Some are caught badly in the iron rods of self righteousness ,others are busy venting and beating their wings to mark their imprisonment. But the most crucial of the compulsion of them all is the inherent trait of a human being to adjust to and resist any change in the surroundings.It is this quirk that makes melancholy and verve an ever lasting one!

Human body is a miracle.It can adjust to the changing climate and weather by keeping its core temperature to a fixed point. Quite similarly our minds work too in society.Dare I say its most unfortunate for a mind to resist to the changing lifestyle and exoteric influences.There is a beautiful quotations that goes something like                        'Life moves in a straight line while a human being revolves in circles'
Life keeps rolling forward in crests and troughs, maintaining its pace with time.There are good times and there are bad times. Unfortunately we human beings continue to challenge the motion and our minds get so acclimatized to a single time frame that the next frame becomes hard to comprehend.

Which brings me, again, to the focal point of my argument ,after the elaboration of causes and effects, Do we have to blame life for permanent miseries?

Some people experience sadness for such a long time that their mindset becomes adjusted to the negative influences.They think analyse and practically implement their decisions keeping despondency in mind until they fall in love with their miserable life.Love is blind and this blindness leads such people to reject any happy moments that come to them for it would demand a change in attitude and lifestyle.These are the class of social animals that would make sure no contentment comes to them or to anyone around. 'Cursed' wouldn't be an exaggerated term for such a class.Fate would shower them with happiness in-between but their blind and deaf minds find it difficult grasping such linear moments of joy as they are in continuous round motion of dark abyss of pessimism until they become sore losers and blame life,people and factors other than their personal responsibilities,for all the fiascoes.

The jolly ones work in a similar way except that no darker days can keep up with their bright radiating motion.Life may go downhill for them but their spirits remain high since they learn to respond casually to life and its events.
Every round motion emits energy. The darker psyche emits negativity which can be be felt in a social gathering.The brighter ones radiate photons of positivity that arms such people with the capability to brighten up the moods in the surroundings no matter how much dullness fate brings.

Recognize the bars you have enslaved yourself in and getting rid of them will make your motion streamlined with time and events! Recognize, lest you should start beating wings for no good reason
!

WE ALL HAVE SUPERPOWERS!

Fiction is an under-rated terminology when it comes to superheroes. I see paladins everywhere. They are walking around us in the real world, not just imaginations.
We all have one or more super powers. Its these skills that help us pass through life and emerge out triumphant.Unfortunately our minds are too busy waiting for one to fly or read minds,become invisible or  maybe escape time and space to jump from Eiffel tower to the Pyramids and back within seconds.

Eyes only see what mind knows. My mind has seen lenity and indifference,patience and impatience, positivity and negativity, hope and despair, wisdom and folly, whim and well planned leaps. I can see these energies walking all around. Some with capabilities effective enough to qualify as a super power.

I have seen men with such gifts in the world of emotions and dreams.In the horizons of sadness and screams. In the peaks of satisfaction and joyful streams.In the fierce storms and hopeful gleams.I have felt the effects of people around me and some forces i have absorbed in my soul,both positive and negative.

There is my world,a world I have made out of reality of people, out of realization of emotions. Its a world full of supermen. There are ones i called transducers.These people have the ability to convert energy from one form to the other.Take all your problems to them and they'll build something positive out of the darkest of pessimism.There are villains too who would radiate sadness despite the ambient love around them. Then there are men who can stick to patience for they rely on it at every step in life.They have impregnable  stoicism and fortitude, to overcome harshness of time.
A few recognize another great power within themselves, the power of stubbornness,stubbornness to stay unchanged maintaining their outlook outdated with the world.I see men with fashion walking in front of me fast and racing against time and there are a few pacific ones sitting beside me on the bench. They are the superheroes of impermeable calmness.Throw a thousand trials at them and you'll find their hearts serene and tranquil, still, like a lake.
There are some who grasp anything they see and save it forever in their head.They use their power of memory to beat the rest. Some with the superpower of voice ,voices so beautiful they could shake hearts around them. Others can absorb all powers.Vent out anything and they will absorb undisturbed!
They are walking talking laughing all around yet i see their hearts and souls,I see their minds and i see a million negatives yet only a scanty colorful positives can balance the universe.I see courage, I see cowardice, I see responsibilities and I see blame,I watch the running witty minds and i stare at the dumb ones, I see immaculate steadiness walking side by side with jittery souls,people who become exemplar of resilience and their opposites too.Its a beautiful world.Its amazing!It has heroes and it has villains.

So the question that remains, What is your superpower? Recognize your power if you want to come out strong and triumphant! Above all, do they make you a hero or a villain?!

The Maestro Writes..The Maestro Writes!

In the cold dark night, up above  the mountain blue,  under the flickering candle light..the maestro writes! the maestro writes..
Echoes of beasts through the dark valley mark the hollowness left behind by the slumbering world of life while winds stop to rustle leaves as if caring for the maestro to ink down undisturbed and the sky grows darker still watching over the peaceful bliss of the late hours.Time seems to have stood still and the universe is all gathering around the trembling yellow of the lamp to peep into the words of the old bearded maestro who pens down his final thoughts on life. Murmuring tall grass by the streams seem overwhelmed by the news delivered by the winds and bend to propagate the message to the waters to slow down as the maestro writes..the maestro writes!

But what is it that the old man fails to ink down.The magnitude of the meanings fail to sink down.Is it the hope of the endless world that awaits him or the agony of falling to his own expectations to write down the masterpiece.It was no surprise to him that death was nearing and all his life his writings were a harbinger to the dimensionless souls yet this was supposed to be the moment of an art , a master work in his last writings to the world.Covered in a cloak, an old wrinkled hand reaches the paper but the pen fails to deliver the final thoughts, unnerving the air around that starts to gush through the window carrying message to the pitch dark of trembling hands and second thoughts yet the valley replies with confidence to await as the maestro writes.the maestro writes!

Taken back into the past life,the old man sees his love,though ages old the freshness stays..He wonders if it is ultimately love that dictates his last message to humanity and the lid of his pen touches the page exciting the candle that starts swinging its luminosity to the very peak but to no conclusion for the maestro just remembered betrayals and rage.Betrayal of the omens and rage of fate. The pen sinks back once again into the cloak, turbulence growing all around as the night starts to lose patience and winds begins to sway the tall grass destroying the very calm that was set through anticipation.Anticipation that knowledge would once again be showered upon the world because the maestro writes...the maestro writes!

Time is running out and the first light of dawn is not faraway. The sky jitters in chagrin for by now the master should have come out and delivered his last words.The mind of the old man,however,  was far more shaken due to his self made assumptions to create a lasting work. But then again,there was a reason why they called him maestro. It dawned upon him that writing in itself was an art that required no masterpiece but the expression of what mind could not decipher. So the old man puffed his last smoke and wrote the last message of his life..

My dear world! As much as I wanted to behold in front of you the lessons through my life,I ignored the very fact that life is an endless journey of discovering knowledge at every turn.And though I foolishly  thought that I had a grasp over life , life still managed to open my heart to yet another lesson at the very end of my age. Life is as simple as we make of it.We humans are funny animals.We learn to float in happiness yet always drown in the sea of our own self created expectations for in life you can never get satisfaction and hopes fulfilled at the same time.There is a balance that maintains the universe. The parity between winds and water,the sky and the earth, the love and the rage, the normal and paranormal and above all is the equity  between hope and expectations.Learn to float in satisfaction than drown into your very own created hell.That sums up my journey.Now you discover yours...

The universe grew tranquil once more as if the message was being absorbed. The surroundings witnessed another  balance..as the old man closed his eyes forever while the world opened its eyes to a new day.. A new life..

REVIVING THE DYING CORDS OF MEMORY!

The last dying cord of an electric guitar has so much to give. Its slowly fading away into abyss reminds me of my past that slid away in the most subtle and non-explosive way yet it never failed to leave behind lasting marks of destruction in my soul.

The fading Mozart of memories that keep my soul dancing with each string ...  the smell in the air on a bright day of summer vacations when you would be waiting for the sun to lower down into the west so you could move out of your home and run in the fields with other kids. Times when moving a mile away from home seemed many oceans apart. Moments of dusky night falls and the relief on seeing the light emerging from the front porch of your home reminding you of your nearness to the only tiny world you were going to fall into again till it dawns.

The wasteful hours of school when you knew the only protection you had,  was your big brothers hanging around for you. The naivety of walking arms around shoulders with friends thinking it would go on and on forever. Or the scary delusional figures hiding in your closet at sleep time and covering your head with blanket was the best protection. The nights spent watching clear sky and actually finding time to praise Lord for the beautiful diamonds hanging up there.

 But things change, for change they must, as life moves on. Relations you thought were your biggest crutches in early days turn out to be nothing but ambiguous images of the present. Friendships go into background or maybe buried deep under the dirt of practicalities and livelihood!

The question that pops up in head is what kind of change can be managed keeping the same guileless child of past stuck with life till we die. Does life have to be that much practical that one forgets the tiny little wonders that we were born with .The wonders of unconditional love, relations, friendships or is life wicked enough to drain the very essence of selflessness out of us?

I see people changing faces, paces and places. I've witnessed men torn apart; succumbing to the very delusional practical life they think they could have control over. Human mind is very vulnerable to deceptions. It falls easily into foolishness, thinking it can see the basic wide screen picture of what is yet to come and misses out on tiny details that are deleted from the past. Those little changes prove to have disastrous effects on our perception about friends and relations. Some say it’s called 'life goes on!'. Others fall into believing that it’s what defines how pragmatic you are!

Past seems like a flash of a second and future seems never ending! That’s how fiercely your mind falls into deluding games of time! So when we make selfish morally ambivalent decisions in life we ignore the fact that our mind and our life are ultimately being controlled by time. Thus the decisions we make define how we perceive time!

The only way to keep our innocence and our generosity flourishing despite whatever life throws upon us, is by keeping ourselves clinging to the fragments of our past! Our past memories enhance those tiny details of purity of relations we think we have lost to the world of today and tomorrow. Re-igniting the virtuous heart is hard but not impossible. We just have to lower down the ego and admit how wrong we can be! We just have to give our soul a benefit of doubt and our mind a reboot and start believing that life can mature our minds but not the souls .The souls are the same ones that used to lay on green grass and chat with friends for hours and hours, souls that never hesitated crying or laughing in  front of the world, souls that flourished in the smell of fresh dew drop  of winter and cool breeze of spring ,souls with  ambitions of overcoming all adversities and sticking to who we are and where we belong ....SOULS THAT KNEW THAT NO MATTER HOW HARD A DAY MIGHT BE,ULTIMATELY IT WOULD ALL GO AWAY ONCE WE ENTER OUR HOMES…Till next dawn yields another life…

CAUGHT BETWEEN THE TIDES...NO MORE!

Life has many stages in its effort to develop and nourish our minds.In its flow,life can give us calm,it can make us drill through tides in a forceful random manner and again bring calm to everything around us, as a gentle gesture of its power over our souls.Our soul is a helpless entity when it comes to directing life.It ,however, can be an equally potent tool when its capacity to learn from life, is called upon into action.

To simplify it all,take an example of a leaf floating peacefully in a lake until someone throws a pebble into the lake causing ripples.Soon the ripples surround the leaf from all sides and swing it in every direction as they will.With passage of time the ripples sink down and the leaf remains floating like it was ever before.

In a similar fashion,life throws a stone into the surroundings of our soul.Our soul that was, hitherto, enjoying a steady motion comes into the grip of forceful waves of ripples that are generated due to a setback thrown into the lake like a stone.It swings around, like the leaf,not taking control of its motion and gives away to the wave that randomly toss it in whichever direction it so desires. It is this point in time when the soul becomes helpless.But helplessness does'nt persist forever.Time heals everything.Time sinks down the waves and the soul,once again, is given an opportunity to relax and calm down.Though fate and life are watching our souls with a sheepish smile on their face and another stone in their hands,they wait and watch. Watch if the soul learns the lesson that life and fate is too complex for a soul to control.Watch if it is the intentional apathy of the soul or a deeper learning phase it is going through.

So life hits us in three key phases.I'll rather call them the PRE-RIPPLE, RIPPLE and POST-RIPPLE phase.

In the recent events of life, I witnessed a Pre-ripple phase.A blink of setback that caused chaos in my peaceful life.That blink second of setback when the stone hit the waters was never taken seriously until...Until the waves hit me.The ripples distracted me from my peaceful journey as i blindly and endlessly opened my soul,like a book, to a wide variety of forces.Each force tossing my soul randomly in every direction. Life was no more in my control,waves were too fast and hard to grasp and little by little I started to feel the waters running through my airways.I knew my soul was no longer in my hands. I felt breathless..Until it all went dark and wet.....

And then...I saw light again.I felt the surface again.The ripples had faded away. All so sudden.Those tides that so sullenly made me believe I was no more me,faded away like they were never there.Like it was just a game,a prank to cause my senses to wake up fresh as a neonate.Just to let me realize how it felt to breathe a new life.

So now I am in the post-ripple phase where i am quiet and away again.Away from society and its forces,away from sentiments and temptations of the waves and I lie still often daring to look at the next stone that life carries in its hands,ready to be thrown into the lake again.But O well,as long as its peaceful,as long as I am back to being myself and as long as the next ripples come by haunting me....its time to give the soul some time to understand what life and journey to eternity is all about.

THE HUMAN BODY AND PHILOSOPHY OF LIFE...

The human body is working in a very artistic way, coordinating and reacting to predicaments , with every passing second. It thrives on oxygen or should we say , 'oxygen the life'. Every time the oxygen supply to the tissues decreases,the whole body responds to it and dilates its blood vessels to the affected area.Thus it increases the blood quantity at the site, to compensate for the lower levels of oxygen.

In a similar fashion, whenever crisis hits our life,be it our ambitions or goals,relations or deepest wants and wishes, we react. We 'dilate' our energy sources and invest more energy to the affected part of our life. We get worried. Pre-occupied by the thoughts of the ungranted wishes, we neglect the blessings of the present and become incongruous to the very passage of seconds,hours,days and years, that never return in this only life we have.

Relationships walk the path in a similar manner.Betrayal and hopelessness of one relation starts affecting our other relations too.and so this herd of men and women,all in the name of 'natural response' to the forsaken events, follow similar path to compromising their life,time,goals and above all,their energies, to keeping hold of one relation that was never meant to be oxygenated.Except there is a but in this whole equation.

We can choose a different path!

The path unique to only the wisest ones.A response full of calculations and considerations.Calculation of the time that could be saved, to spend with more sacred, more vital relations.Considerations of what is still there to be enjoyed than what has been lost.yes..THE PATH OF THE LUNGS!!!

In the human LUNGS, counteractions to the lower levels of oxygen are quite different.The lungs in all their mesmerizing wisdom and impeccable calculations and considerations, follow a different course than the rest of the pool.Instead of dilating the blood vessels to the affected area,they constrict them, instead.Thus shifting all the blood to the well oxygenated beatified areas where they could utilize their energy maximally.Turns out their investment yields them profits.The lungs follow a simple lesson of life that the remaining clan of body tissues as well as society in general, fail to follow.The lesson of 'ACCEPTING THE FAILURES AND LETTING GO'!

Let go of whatever travesty or worry befalls you and save your energies for what Allah has kept by you all this time yet your eyes were blind to.The blessings of parents,brothers,lasting friendships, love.The pleasures of sight, ability to hear and speak and walk and talk and laugh and breathe..Let go the failures and the fiascoes and hold on to the viable dreams.

            'The art of living lies in fine mingling of letting go and holding on' - Havelock Ellis

Bedazzled by the simple lesson taught to me by the lungs ,i cannot help thinking of 'Your' Oneness.Oneness in everything we do and everything we are.The similarities between reactions of human body and humankind,to the impending crisis speak sufficient enough, of how immaculately designed the universe is.There are those who shape up to become like the rest of the human body and then there are the sanctified ones lesser in number, who find enough guts to react like lungs.The question is 'which one of the two are you shaping into??

So I Let It Fall Apart!

Tell them I tried hard
Remolding what was ripped apart
Victim to a vicious cycle
Of hopeless patches stitched together
But for every hope ,vanished another
So I let it fall apart
I let it all fall apart...

Every desperate expectation
dwelling in helpless atoms of my soul
Melted away in the heat
Every ounce of pain
I failed to contain
Started flowing away
Its hard to explain
Agony was the first to depart
So I let it fall apart
I let it all fall apart...

I lost time fighting the winds
Until my own being split within
Into bits of shattered dreams
Random bouts of rusted memories
Memories supposedly buried deep inside
Were floating away with every tide
Until I bowed to this reality of life
That fate is indeed a work of art
So I let it fall apart
I Iet it all fall apart...

My brain finally gave up
Setting my soul into wilderness free
Leaving my body best to the vultures plea
Ah! What to say of the old rapt heart
Beating its last to the illusions of love
Now I became a nothing
A nothing to my own self
A hollow that still echoes sometimes
Bitter sweet delusions of well being
Of  unheard laughters and music divine
Far far away into an ocean of the past
An untiring soul had breathed its last
Succumbed to the very fact that
I let it all fall apart!

The Story Of An Unsung Hero ...

In the Land of Azaad Kashmir ,approx. 50 kms north to bhimber , lies a small village called BAROH, just at the line of control between Pakistan and India. The most prominent landmark of the village is a vertical ridge called Baroh Ridge. On the extreme end of the ridge lives an old man almost reaching the age of 100 years,named 'KHUSHI BABA'. With thick long white beard ,darkened skin folds around his eyes,lips strictly sealed and melancholy eyes with a thousand tales of a century hidden deep inside, Khushi Baba walks the land with a stick in his hand and is often seen sitting beside a stream washing his clothes or sometimes comes to my Regimental Aid Post to get medicines.He lives alone with nobody around to take care of him at such an old age.But there is a long story behind such loneliness ,reasons that make this country the 'Land Of The Pure' .Reasons that define the true kind and class of people that made this country possible.So lets just stop time of the present and journey back into the black and white of early 20th century to peep into the life of Khushi baba of the 1940's...

Born in Baroh in 1915 ,Khushi Baba spent his childhood days at baroh ridge in a way that has not changed much even now in this village with children more attached to nature and outdoor games and very little of an entertainment at home.Khushi baba then moved out to take on the world the moment he realised he was strong and old enough to leave home.
In 1942,Khushi Baba enrolled himself in the BRITISH ARMY and mastered in Guerilla training at Pune(Indian) and joined 619 Field regt. He worked tenaciously under the command of English officers. However,during the time of 1940's, Muhammad Ali Jinnah was struggling for Pakistan and separate nation for Muslims. Khushi Baba resigned from the British Army and decided to return back to his village of Baroh.

1946- Kashmir was under the rule of king Dogar. Dogar was building up an Army of his own in Kashmir, owing to the political developments in the subcontinent and more likelihood of the creation of two countries ,Pakistan and India. Khushi Baba on hearing of the package Dogar army had to offer, which included pension at the end of retirement and better scale of wages, enrolled himself in the Dogar Army at Nowshera.( Nowshera is only two ridges to the East of village BAROH).But it wasnt all fairy tale for Khushi Baba joining the Dogar's Army as onset of 1947 brought with  it fresh violence especially the burning down of Muslim villages by Dogar Army in the-presently- Indian Occupied Kashmir.Khushi Baba saw the burning,the killings of his fellow Muslims ,rapes of young women at the hands of hindu Dogars and prejudices of extreme nature. On realizing how biased the Dogars were ,Khushi baba couldn't convince his conscience, to be working under an Army that was going rampant on Muslims.

JUNE 1947-ESCAPE FROM DOGAR ARMY BASE CAMP 
 Pakistan was about to get independent .As Redcliff and his counterparts were busy dividing the subcontinent into two,words had reached Khushi Baba and his group of - planning to be deserters - of how hard the times were coming up for the Muslims of the region.He already had planned to take revenge for the spilled blood of his muslim brothers and sisters, by the Dogars.
So khushi Bada besides others ,decided to desert the dogars. They were at that time,living in the Base camp of Dogars in nowshehra .the only escape route through the base camp lay near the latrines and washrooms.one pitch dark night , khushi Baba along with others finally made a move .Through the small windows of the washrooms ,they jumped out of base camps and started running towards the ridge (Chai Ridge) that would lead them to Baroh.They knew they would be followed and killed as soon as the Dogars found out they had deserted.Khushi Baba tells of how long the night was and they kept on running and climbing the ridge through the darkness until they reached the other side of Chai ridge.
On reaching the safe zone ,it was dawn and sun was rising as Khushi Baba knelt and kissed the soil of Chai village.The moment he saw the Baroh ridge ,he started crying and promised His God that he would take revenge for all the Muslim killings he has seen.

This picture was taken from the Baroh Ridge as sun rises from the CHAI RIDGE.The same ridge Baba Khushi crossed at dawn more than 60 years ago.Across this ridge lies the Indian city of Nowshehra ,once a base camp of Dogar Army 

Post 1947- ARRIVAL OF THE PATHAANS AND QUBAILEE PEOPLE 
Qubailee people arrived to help out Muslims of Kahmir ,following Dogar's post independence annexation of Kashmir to India.In the region in proximity to Baroh, the qubailee Lashkars made their base camps in SAMAHNI and TANDAR villages. Khushi Baba knew the region very well and went to Tandar to help out the pathaans and qubailees.He served as a vital Asset to the qubailees ,showing them the various vulnerable areas and defiles and helped them understand the dynamics of the landscape around Baroh .On reaching Kartan ( a ridge on left end of Baroh) . The qubailees decided to camp before the fateful encounter with the dogars.They ate and danced for three consecutive days.(Khushi baba tells me of how the Pathhaans loved to eat meat and mutton and they spent three days eating and slept at Kartan to revitalize themselves for the upcoming encounter with the Dogar Army at CHAI RIDGE). After three days ,the commander of the Lashkar gathered his men and told them to take on the Dogars and occupy the ridge .(Khushi baba told me in a very candid way every word that commander spoke before the encounter with the Dogars.Khushi baba spoke in pashto and then translated for my convenience.He can speak urdu,pushto,punjabi,persian,all learnt over the period of a century) .

So the qubailees took on the Dogars and defeated them.The Dogars fled back to Nowshera Base Camp and even left their loadded trucks behind. However words had come of the huge Indian Army reaching Nowshera to rescue the Dogars .KHushi Baba suggested that the qubailees must not sit relaxed on the Chai ridge and move forward but nobody paid a heed to his words. On seeing how the Qubailees had given up any further advance,He left and went to the Pathaans and lashkars of SAMAHNI.
The commander of the Samahni LASHKAR was named Capt Khan.He was a wise man and a good tactician.On hearing Khushi Baba ,he took the news of Indian Army's arrival very seriously and planned out how to stop the indians from taking over Chai ridge. Khushi Baba knew the Indian side of Chai ridge very well ,he knew the most vulnerable points and tracks in the routes of Indian Army .Capt Khan gave 600 men to Khushi Baba to ambush Indian Army on its way to the ridge.

This picture of KHUSHI BABA was taken in late 1947,at the time when he was working for Capt Khan,commander of the Pathaan Lashkar camped in Samahni.

Khushi Baba took 600 men and infiltrated into the Indian territory .He knew all the tracks and bridges that would be used by the Indian Army vehicles to reach the ridge.He Half cut the logs on the bridge and placed 600 men around the bridge and created a perfect ambush.Then waited for the night to arrive. ( khushi Baba still recalls how the pathans wouldnt stop talking and laughing despite strict instructions of quietness lest anyone should hear them and ambush plan would fail) . They waited for hours and around midnight

,they saw lights of vehicles arriving their way.It was the Indian Army of 80 vehicles and huge weaponry reaching the bridge to cross it and attack the Chai ridge. Khushi Baba lay very close to the bridge,logs of which he had already cut with an axe.No sooner than the first vehicle reached the bridge,the bridge collapsed with the weight of the indian truck ,taking the vehicle down alongwith it into the abyss.seeing this , Khushi Baba ordered men to fire.The surprise element was achieved and the Indian Army was caught off guard and had to retreat to Nowshehra.

Throughout the 1950's and 1960's ,Khushi Baba continued to infiltrate the Indian Occupied Kashmir and was a very useful spy.He married in 1949 to a woman from a nearby village but spent next two decades away from home ,away from family and kept spying for his country.He still remembers how he would disguise himself like a shepherd and had once brought a herd of 30 cows from Indian territory and distributed them equally among his fellow villagers of Baroh.
But nothing comes easy.Every sacrifice has a price to pay. In Khushi Baba's case,his family left him owing to his long years of absence and his wife settled in Gujrat. This was the biggest price Khushi Baba had to pay for his country and the tragedy is that it goes unheard of.During his whole spying career. Khushi Baba had done eight successful infiltration and had once kept 20 men hidden in the jungle eating leaves and insects until the LOC finally became less hostile to cross .

Khushi Baba at present lives all alone and his kids are still settled in Gujrat. Little do they know how much sacrifices their father had carried out throughout his life in the name of Islam and Pakistan.Little do they realize their father is among the biggest 'unsung heroes' of Pakistan.

The Paths Of Randomness

I see a strange connection between the paths of nerves running wildly through my brain and those of life, marked with unpredictability.There are a thousand paths I've followed and millions more to come in life.Some leading to the disappointing ends ,others yielding the fulfillment of most sacred dreams I had.
so then Why do people lead a very conscious life when these paths of randomness have no fixed pattern.Do we little beings have any control over them?

If not,then Why life, more than often, brings us to a point in time where all other roads end and we are given a choice to opt between only two.Black or White! One road leading to the risky jungles of love and compromises,of risks and consequences ,of happiness and sadness of extreme nature.While the other tells a tale of deserts of monotony and lifelessness,of sands and smoothness,of waking up and sleeping down every day without an element of change.

It is this stage in life where even our neurons are brought to a halt .As if there is a perplex link between the paths of life and those in our head ,both ending up together at this contrasting point of bifurcation.Both cease to grow any further.

Such are the times when we realize our life has  stopped , like a caravan , that calls it a day and rests up to build enough energy first ,to prepare for the fateful journey.The camels are rested and the loads taken off.The head of the caravan weighs the options ,looks into his past and predicts the future, analyzing if he would be able to make it through the days to come.


A similar picture pops up in our heads too when our mind is left with only black or white to chose from.The neurons stop working as if they've called it a day, leaving us to figure out the confusions ourselves.Its this turning point of time in our life when either we become the head of our own caravan and actively contemplate our desires and beliefs,our resolve and strengths to undergo the greatest most dramatic journey of life or we become the weaklings and leave this onerous responsibility in the hands of fate and follow the safer monotonous root to eternity.


One way or the other , whatever be the path actively or passively, chosen by us, whatever be the repercussions,good or worse, years from now when our skin is pale and hair grey and we look back into our life and remember the night our camels sat and our caravans rested and life had generously given us the option to chose the destiny for ourselves, we must then stand by our decisions and take the responsibility for what became of our life.

The bold ones who take matters in their own hands,on the fateful turn in life,would easily take the fame or the blame for the results.The problem lies with the other class that gives up their wits,to the vagueness in their heads.They would even by the last breath ,continue to blame their fates,for they are made this way.They are born to follow than be followed,to drift with the flow than be the flow,to see what life had taken away than what life has given in return.

In short , the fate maybe written up there ,the strings may be controlled by the higher force but the true finality to our fates lies with us.Its up to us if we take the charge of our mind and reach for the glory or fall a victim to our nerves and blame fate for the disarray.

'THE PATHS OF RANDOMNESS are, in fact, the paths we create ourselves!'

A Heart Of Gold...

Words of wisdom flowing again

drops of knowledge glowing brain

wave after wave of torrential rain

they hit hard gleaming back

glistening my heart a precious sublime

words are'nt a note this time

switching swapping into a rhyme..

They tell a riddle never told before

of a dark room and empty floor

rich feelings tied to the ceilings

light shone through an open door

on a book of gold,the author's grandeur

precious gems and endless shore

the spirits and sufis dwell within

and lord is found on searching more

A thousand clerics I went to,

a million books I read

in search of truth known to few

until I  sketched the room in my head

a vague parity struck me,a deja vu!

I've seen this room of gems,I said

my mind reached its bounds, my brain gave up;

so I went to the heart to feel instead

Behold! the answer to the riddle came up

the puzzle my soul could only sort

the extract of life to finding God

lied in the very room of my heart..

Doors opened ,the truth unfold

of god's splendour and magnificence

I took a few steps firm and bold

accepting my ignorance and realities cold

setting my soul free of puritan mind

in rhymes of sufis centuries old

in eyes of soul that never go blind

in verses of quran ,the book of gold

But words never left me there

the journey to eternity started here

your heart is where the doorways open

the doorways to heaven concealed in layers

this riddle,they said, was not a conclusion

for darkness in heart is a mere illusion

an illusion to feel the light within

setting apart the darkness filling in

the darkness felt for every sin

reminds us of the light through thick and thin

So much this heart and soul know

of God and men,love and rage

wisdom flying free of earthly cage

casually inked on the page

spread out in rhymes and notes
are lessons learnt come of age...

Of Eyes And Mind..Of God And Mankind

A clear sunny day marked with cold winds from the north,sitting on a mountain peak, tall grass dancing around me,dancing and laughing with the winds and trees swirling a knowledgable motherly smile,i see the distant cliffs.My eyes mesmerized by beuty and splendor of nature.A thought pops up in my head, bringing an overwhelming educated smile on my lips too,like the trees.Overwhelmed by the very thought of knowing all the answers. Is it the satisfied heart or the happy soul of mine that inspired my eyes to appreciate the work of God? Is this what philosophy of life is all about when it says that all is one! Our soul,our surroundings ,the universe filled with oneness.Wholeness that i see in trees and my lips that are in harmony with god and His ways. The world,they say, is nothing but our own state of mind. Why ,after all these years ,when such a day has come a million times before,have i thought of this oneness today!why was I not au fait with it before?

Suddenly i felt waves of knowledge surging to explode my heart from within,a whisper from the core of my soul,it said,
'A beautiful painting is a direct reflection of a painter's heart.'
I pondered my mind out and doors began to open one by one.Doors locked in me somewhere deep,carrying answers to the truth about God.Answers that were buried all this time in my soul,by the dirt of worldly teachings taught to me since childhood by humans.
And i thought of the scenery in front of me, the love that mother carries for her child, the emotions of fraternity that let us stand united,the shores that collect sand from endless times,the freshness that a newborn's cheek bears,the shine in his eyes.All speak of God as evermore benignant ,smiling that affectionate smile.I see everything as one.Oneness of the universe fitting perfectly in my one soul,oneness of nature's love and compassion adjusting immaculately  in my one heart.Everything essoterically and exoterically becoming one.All one created by the one.A thousand questions having different doorways but leading ultimately to the one!The beautiful one!The ever so forgiving one who calls us for repentance everytime we lose our track.The caring one who guarantees His love as seventy times more than that of a mother's. Who laughs at our mistakes and says 'its ok'come come again'. Who is still optimistic to be sustaining the world despite all the wickedness of mankind.
I felt buoyant,enthralled by the very implications of this knowledge.The world seemed brighter to explore,life felt real and joyous.My soul felt freer than ever before.Free and open to fly high. But then there was another whisper.an answer to the freedom of soul.

'They don't want your soul to be free,they want their hold over your soul and the society's too..'

So it dawned upon me as to why the great philosophy of life always faced the wrath of clerics and leaders of times. Philosophy gave the answers to finding God in your soul and setting your soul free. Clerics ,on the other hand,justified their superiority and hold over societies by depicting only the wrath of the Almighty.This concept let the male dominated societies to manipulate our faith with the man-made traditions,filled with fear of becoming a victim to God's anger and punishment, to keep their say and hold over our souls.
God has made each soul independently,God has put before us the whole universe that speaks so audibly of his kindness and patience,His clemency and magnanimity. Searching our souls for the answers thus would jeapordize the very credibility and impact of our religious leaders.Setting souls free would break us of all the worldly traditions that keep us entangled in the complexities and rules of society.Finding the truth,the ultimate truth,would let us feel no more afraid of the materialistic concepts about God.

What more clear message can God give to human beings when even through His worship,He is trying to teach us to do good with fellow humans.Prayers help us shun vanity and realize that despite the worldy luxuries we are still answerable to Him.Men of all classes standing in prayers shoulder by shoulder clearly a sign from God that He sees all with the same love.Giving alms makes our soul pious and ramadan builds patience in our anxious worried selves.When God clearly says that i can forgive you for everything but the evil you have done with other human beings,that can only be forgiven by the respective soul. Naive and small as we are,we feel exalted and enlightened over the ones who dont worship.who dont offer prayers. How can we even judge any other soul when the power of judgement lies in God's hands.

But ignoring the human characters rusted with hypocrisy,I see this strange new expression of God.It was there all this time in my very own heart yet my eyes couldnt see before.This God who had always been the most merciful and the most benificent,the GOd whose love for His creations seems as endless as the universe itself.The GOd who inspires us to dare set our souls free of worldly traditions and finding him embracing and rewarding our souls with freedom and paradise.I see the real God as the most understanding one.And it all sparks hope in my very blood.hope of great times to come.hope of becoming as innocent as a neonate,again, with time.hope of repenting over my sins and i close my eyes and feel His miracles in my mind and i dare ask Him one question.
'MERAY GUNAH ZIADA HAIN YA TERI REHMAT
  KAREEM TU HI BATA DE HISAAB KAR KE '
His reply opens up new paths in my JOURNEY TO ETERNITY...

FAITH vs SURVIVAL

Among the great creations of God, human brain catches our eyes the most. It’s got the higher center called cortex that is responsible for what we call a civilized way of living. Where thoughts and emotions reside. Where faith dwells to run an evil free society. Where unconditional love resides .love for fellow beings. The thoughts of sacrifice and living for others. It’s the humane part of the brain that justifies living a good life and having faith in good.

               

But the human brain with all its magnificence has still got in its core, a primitive part that acts more like an icon of survival. It’s got the instincts of an animal.

They say when starvation takes the better of man, it first consumes your fats and muscles and later shuts down all the unwanted organs. Still further it reaches your brain where lights go out in the higher centers (the humane centers) leaving only the primitive core part working. That’s when the self-proclaimed bestest of creature that we see in a human being takes the form of animal. History is rich with stories of noble men on voyages where starvation for months turned them into monsters eating flesh of their own kind for survival. So why this paradox. To run a society u need religion and faith and beliefs but when it comes to self-survival and escaping death your humane brain fires away and leaves the game in the hands of primitive animal core??

Growing up and completing 25 years of my life has been a great journey for me. There were times when faith would shine in all its colours and glamour. When I believed that the only true happiness and satisfaction lied in making others around me happy. The belief that good always wins no matter how powerful the evil is. But time passively teaches you certain realities that you avoid facing. Too ashamed you feel to confront such harsh truths. When at times of trial, faithlessness paving its way inside your mind makes you see only the demise and destruction of all the things you stand for. Logic and omens run away and you are left with only 'you’. Nothing to stand for and nothing to fall for..

Just like those sailors lost in the sea, I was lost in the aimless life. They had starvation to shut down their humane brain. I had faithlessness to do likewise. Their wild primitive core made them cannibals. Mine, well, mine made me realise that the key to survival in this world lies in good bargains. Bargains in faith, beliefs, even in love. I realised that things taught to me in the past had little weightage in practical life. That friendships come with compromises. That love is unconditional only in books. That in order to become a successful man one needs to do good business. That happiness lies in giving only but survival lies in taking  too. Life with all its perplexed events can never truly bring faith and survival on the same page.

What i am starting to think..What i am starting to realise..is that maybe our humane brain part never really was the biggest wonder. That maybe it’s this primitive old ignored part of the brain, the only common in man and animal ..Maybe this part is the essential of life.

'fight for survival' and 'survival of the fittest’...No wonder why Darwin is considered faithless atheist. It’s because he was indeed the devil's advocate...