WINGS WON'T GIVE IN TO THE SWINGING PENDULUM...

A pendulum hanging under the clock that swings this way and sways the other, with every passing second, found my attention consuming my soul into a territory of familiar motion, of quite a similar emotion, a very strange connection there was... Between the pendulum and my soul. Every second that made it move,every tick tock consuming battery life reminded me of the same hues my soul is going through in life. The time will move on second after inevitable second. The ticking sound replaced by my heartbeat lying within chest of my clock, at the expense of age that slowly wears off , with each thought, with every single event,in each  decision made,with every dawn and dusk. Is that it? Is that all my soul could find in simile with the pendulum. Until it struck me again that my soul was going through the undulating movement too , in to and fro motion, one moment to eternity other lost to the world. One second it sways to self actualization the other instant it mixes up with other souls and gets impure again.
This time around though , there seems to be a permanent disconnection. There appears to be a halt, a subtle inactivity.Is my heart stopping.I could still hear the lub dub and feel my pulsations quavering through my neck. The clock is still ticking .But the soul, the pendulum seems to have unhitched. Not in the ideal middle where gravity could be blamed but on one side.The side of darkness , the place of immense dissatisfaction, painted dull by the world that restlessly tries to make it insipid every chance it gets.It seems as if the apathy from self awareness has let me escape my own protective bounds and this abyss ...of recklessness has thrown away my inner peace,broken the remaining surviving soul into pieces innumerable ,infinite,each made a share to the world that feeds on it for breakfast , for gossip, for intense talks and deadly sleep.
There might be another angle to this i didn't cover.maybe the pendulum still sits on the supposedly brighter side. Maybe dullness is an illusion of what my soul is actually going through.Perhaps the satan of time is not whats playing with my head but the angels themselves are falling into compulsion of necessary evil that is being demanded by life and circumstances where one could either lose wings and grow fins and run with the flow or fight off the harbinger of ill fate that carries blades in his cloak. Fight off it is!
I ask my soul again of what ifs and whys and it swings around dancing to the beats, the uniform unstoppable beats of the drum, it sways round and round and never replies. Then it halts and drops short a smile . An expression of wisdom like I already knew the answers.The answers to the quest, the elixir to happiness, the krypton to inner world. The message is simple for love never comes by force just as soul never reacts until we act upon our own selves ,until we fight off the world ,until we make our souls ours to own. The message was simple for life storms in breaking our innate apart and rebuild we must. Rebuild we do but lose to life for life moves on. what we build on our soul again, is this structure of never giving in , this self esteem and confidence that embodies our heart ,the new you and the new me,built upon sands brick by brick ,not by fate of a silver spoon but by life of shattered dreams, is too precious to be given away to flow of streams. It is too priceless to become selfless and so I fought and took fate in my hands never to give in to randomness of people and their ugly ways.This fate shall stay as long as the wall survives. It shall go on as long as the heart beats and i shall fly high upon my wings that survived fires and flares.
Days shall pass and time too.People will  change and faces too .What stays with us is the frame of ticking clocks and the soul that dances free of gravity and the pulls.Freedom shall stay,so shall I .Freedom gone,so will I.

Surrendering To The Abyss

I'm crashing down hard with an angel inside me
Crumbling down fast with whats broken behind me
I'm breathing my last with the sands in my hand
I'm falling apart with the darkness to blind me

A victim to the tug of war
The body became a past
Somewhere between saint and sinner
This soul has breathed its last
What was once
A solid bed of rock
Is rolling down like stones
Deprived of the feel of shock
My heart aches to the very bones
Collapsing down the pipeline
Like water that never stops
To give in to the love of gravity
A story of what remained on the mountain top
Gradually descends into oblivion
Sinking into the pull drop by drop

I'm crashing down hard with an angel inside me
Crumbling down fast with whats broken behind me
I'm breathing my last with the sands in my hand
I'm falling apart with the darkness to blind me

Reckless life spent in shades..
Shades of Hopeless fate cut through blades
Of time and wisdom that walk together
A journey taken on solid foundation
Is helplessly rolling back
Into an abyss
From the core of which
A monster arises
Taking away the departed soul
Giving back a few moments of the how it used to be
Fills it up with mesmerizing joy
Colors glamorous enough not to annoy
And plays again with the battered hope
Tosses again from the summit
Of well being and prosperity
Watching everytime it crashes,The soul..
Like it collided before
The sheer show of power
The immense lingering of hours
The intense pain of letting go
The infinite joy that comes with it
To the vastness of the gravity
To the boldness of the infinity
To the genius of the insanity
The events moving in circles
Another day
Another soul
Another deja vu
The rhyming of words with his fall
As I witness through my void...


He's crashing down hard with an angel inside him
Crumbling down fast with whats broken behind him
He's breathing his last with the sands in his hand
He's falling apart with the darkness to blind him...

JUST A RANDOM THOUGHT...

Ever wonder a life
Where no time existed
No clocks on the walls
No ambition no pain
No loss no gain
No fate to sustain
No wretched existence of insane
A world...
A world less of miracles
A random mirage of colors
No morals no story
No personal endeavors of glory
No fights no vengeance
No borders no religions
No hope to plant
No faith to haunt
A world with...
No past no future
No surmise no dreams
No good no evil
No bloodshed no screams
No bed time tales of devil
An eye tearless
An entity fearless
No purpose of our descend
No mistakes to amend
But a life...
A life of fickleness
Seconds left unchewed
Minutes munched to the bones
An aeon for the sake of an aeon
No often no seldom
An eternity of freedom
A life without path
A day without math
A poem without rhyme
A script without chyme
words filling the  chasm
rhyming back into sarcasm
No arguments no discussions
No insanity with repercussions
Chains of..
 Chains of everyday agony
Weight of the repents of past
And helpless future
Broken in one blow
Through thoughts of twisted head
Light shining through a  glow
Ignoring the heart instead
Ever wonder
Ever wonder...

My Kite Flies High Like Inky Dot In The Sky...

Hope,that one discrete color among thoughts that begets the impossible. It is a shape-shifter that clings to any entity you could find. It becomes the heart of a mother who has lost her child in the sea of people or the nostalgic head of a soldier longing for home. You see it playing with the spirits of the underdogs or sparking up flames in the soul of a lover. If life were a game of chess  then hope is that white knight sent to decimate the front-line of pawns and knock out the rival black king, when all is lost but the one little riding piece of a chevalier we call hope.
We all have hope in our soul hidden in the deepest cores where nothing outlasts but the purest forms of energy, be it negative or positive. Its the realm of thoughts and dreams, desires and aspirations. Every human being is born with a place in his heart for storage of such vast amalgam of ardor, though only a few are able to self actualize the potential they are born with.
In my quest for lasting truth and journey towards eternity, I have come across this kingdom of vim. Guarded on all sides by the turbulent pawns of pessimism and despair striking anything moving towards the gates. You will find hope locked inside those huge walls of defense impregnable to anything but perseverance and determination. Life puts everyone through the tests of time. Hopes shattered,dreams rattled and despite the sincere efforts towards attainment of success,you may find fate ground you down undeservedly like arrows  falling from the sky piercing ur heart and flesh apart. Does it really conclude there? Is life that short or uneventful as to end up like that ? The answer is no!
In fact such are the moments that inspire men to rise among stars or fall six foot deep into the dust. Its these moments where you hold your ground, keep on moving towards the wall of negativity and rekindle faith and self belief that someday soon you are going to break through the wall and enter the kingdom of vim where hope shall embrace you, replenish your vitality and make you feel the warmth of sun shine and calm your entity down, armoring you up for the next battle in life.
I have broken through the gates of my kingdom and hope flies high in my soul, like a kite. A kite that would sustain its flight no matter what time of the day or life.Bring on the rain and the storms and unforgiving hurricanes that take one by surprise but my kite would be swinging and dancing with the waves of time because its not just a piece of paper i found by luck.its the work of years of relentless and incessant struggle that no storm can dare challenge the integrity of the fibers i built my kite with.Even if dusk fell and  mountains seemed darker than the sky, my kite shall be seen diving and rising again like an inky dot in the dim of the sky.

WHO AM I ??

Like the wings of an eagle that has faced a thousand air waves of sand, dust of storm and drops of rain, like the many faces of hot winds of South and cold breeze of North, a million amplitudes of motions that make it glide and dive in, assimilating every bit of what it can take,I have faced a thousand forces of humankind,some hot others cold,some literary, others musical and a million pulls of artistic minds drowning me into whirlpool of life.
I have tried absorbing to my best. But these people have left their impressions on me , face to soul. I am no more myself but an amalgam of black, blue, yellow and pink. Yet in not being myself , I found my real self,my true soul. I had no art neither the vocabulary to understand my existence until someone brought in bebop to this wilderness that helped me express what i knew not, hitherto. Another person taught me how to laugh, even my voice and accent became someone else's, my hairstyle left mark of yet another soul and my dress up followed another pull. But what no one could ever change was my soul,my identity,the very core of my being.
I was black in the beginning until blue made me musical, yellow showed me the path to happiness and freedom and when I reached my destiny to realizing my inner truth,I found nothing but pink.Pink when you look at it in the first glance but traces of blue and yellow still remain.
And here I am , residing in the beats of seconds,lost in the leads of a guitar, swinging along every current , walking through the strings of charms and strokes of life, diving into every key of piano and shining through my violin, my words. Is it all real or just a mirage of what life and the winds have made me become?Is it all my real entity or have I gone astray to the baffling colors of the world that ever came my way?Are these the actual wings I was born with or just a distraction from the darker dull path of reality. But then again, what if it really doesn't matter?! What if life is in fact all about living a delusion to oneself and illusion to others , as long as your soul stays untouched,unchanged. Be it what so ever , I will stay an illusion, a shadow to the world as long as i can hear the hymn and as long as i can dance and swing through the cords of guitar.
Who am I and What I am to the world is a part of a ramshakled story unfolding still, to the ever mesmerizing symphony of love!